How not to treat a cough. Apparently.
(Wikipedia made me do it! The chocolate and everything!)
These are crap. They may taste good (sort of) but they actually make me cough more. And here's the fine print: excess consumption may have a laxative effect. Does half a bag qualify as "excess?" Only time will tell.
2. Lindt Excellence Dark Extra Fine Chocolate (85% Cocoa)
You know, for the theobromine. Wikipedia told me theobromine is more effective in suppressing cough than dextromethorphan (the narcotic in Robitussin). I believe everything Wikipedia tells me.
3. Ghirardelli Intense Dark Twilight Delight Chocolate (72% Cacao)
Again, for theobromine. Cacao tastes better than cocoa.
Probably the most effective measure undertaken. Also, the most filled with narcotics. Really the best thing it has going for it is its lack of being Robitussin.
5. Twinings Lemon & Ginger Herb Tea
Delicious and magically soothing! I added honey, for full potency.
6. Leftover Bonine from 3 years ago
Now we're entering the desperation stage. This cold! It's an inflammatory process, right? I shall therefore treat it with an anti-inflammatory agent! [Little known fact: Benadryl, Dramamine, and Bonine are all effectively the same thing.] Tastes like Smarties.
7. Coffee
It's good for everything else, so why not use it on your cough? Maybe it dries out secretions? Caffeine is a methylxanthine, much like theophylline, a drug used to treat asthma. So... relaxing bronchial smooth muscle is probably good for my cough. I've talked myself into drinking tea now, too, since it's a source of theophylline. I shall add English Breakfast Tea to my regimen.
8. Guaifenesin (aka Mucinex)
Mucus in the head → post-nasal drainage → constant irritation of the pharynx → cough. Must loosen secretions. Voila! Guaifenesin.
9. Pizza
An excellent immune booster. I recommend this product highly.
Comments
you, are awesome.
and yes, i think one should avoid sugar, too. when you're sick. but really, where's the hard science behind that? can you prove to me that sugar will somehow keep me from getting well? i can't find a reason, physiologically, why i should not treat my cold with chocolate.
or candy corns.
or pocky sticks.
or twizzlers, for that matter. and do not forget the pumpkin spice latte.
(if i'm not diabetic now, i will be eventually!)
ewww.
i say this, as i just had about 5 leftover halloween chocolate bars. do what i say, not what i do! :-)
aha! case closed: sugar is the cure.